Thursday, September 10, 2009

Bats-shit crazy!

I was maybe eight. We were up at the neighborhood pool having a grand old time but I had to pee. I wasn't lazy or gross so i actually ran down the street, past my mom washing the car, to go inside and use the toilet. I peeled my wet bathing suit off and sat down to do my business.
At the time we had this cat and we stored the litter box in the small downstairs bathroom. Well, I'm on the pot and i glance down at the litter box. Maybe i heard something, maybe not, but i looked down and What the...?!!!!! The poo was moving. And then it was flying! and it was trying to get me! I screamed and screamed and fell off the toilet trying to yank my wet bathing suit up while running with wet feet on slippery tile and it was in there and it hit my head and the high little girl screams echoed throughout the neighborhood! My mom was like a rocket and she came in ready to murder my attacker- thinking i was being brutalized by a big monster or pervert or bad neighborhood kid (or maybe my big sister was beating my butt). She was like lightening and I was hysterical. Where did he go she wanted to know but I could only point into the bathroom. She ran in, fists clenched and then it got out! It was in the living room and my mom assessed the situation and simply said "go get my tennis racket". Scurrying away and back she also asked for a wastebasket. There was a bat flying all over the living room in a panic, a mom ready to fight, and a little girl with her bathing suit half off. With one good swing she knocked that bat silly. We trapped it in the wastebasket and moved it to the cat carrier. Then we broke out the Golden book Encyclopedias and discovered it was a brown bat. Because he was not a vampire, we let him go at dusk and watched him fly into the night sky.
I was afraid of that bathroom for a long time after the incident but looking back its a hilarious "attack" by a bat that was probably more scared than i was!

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