Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Tiny house of disaster

Now, we all know Amy Winehouse is a disaster. But some of you do not know that I have a tiny house that is currently filled with disaster. Put the two together and the world is over.
So, I have a tiny house behind my house. I would like to chastise all of you renters who have ever dicked over a landlord or ruined their things or not told them about repairs. You are bad people. See, I made the mistake of renting to a friend. The first two friends did me right. They asked for few repairs, they were understanding that I was not made of money, and we respected each others things. This last tenant, I won't call him friend, just violated so much trust. I now know why landlords are a-holes- they have to be.

So every six months or so I would ask how things were inside, did anything need repair, was the roof leaking etc. Little did I know he was hiding a deep dark secret. See, while Brian Grayshurt is very fashion concious and pays attention to his appearance, he is a disgusting dirty trashmonger. I don't think he took the trash out for like 2 years. There were about 20 bags that he took to the curb in 2 seperate cleaning sessions. Then I got to drag his nasty stained futon mattress and about 8 more bags to the curb. So after getting the crap out, I got to clean the spider webs and their spiders. I got to bleach the walls and trim. The bathroom has to be completely ripped out, partly my fault for having a faulty gutter and partly his for not telling me that the pipes don't work. Seriously. They don't.

Did you see the picture right there? Well, asshat had his airconditioner draining INTO THE WALL. Thanks for telling me. I hope your girlfriend dumps you and you have to live in your car. Obviously I'm mad. We could have fixed a lot of this stuff earlier for a lot lower cost, but thanks to neglect and rude disrespectful people I will now spend every single extra penny on making the tiny house a home for someone. And that someone will sign a kickass lease and I will do regular inspections and I will be the crazy landlord ready to evict.

Tonight I get to rip a wall down. Tomorrow night I get to rip a floor out. The next day maybe the dissolving window. Sighh......

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