The five quilts of Christmas!

Mom's
Erica's
Jack and Amanda's
Daddy's (complimentary shot of Turkey)
(Karen's)

Its the five quilts of Christmas! These (plus Claire's) took me 5 months to do. I started in June and i finished all of the bindings while laid up from my surgery. It was tough, it cost a lot, but I am gonna be the awesomest at Christmas!

Pet portrait

Look what I made the past two nights! Its my last commission project of the year and I'm done! YAY!!!!!

Tiny letter

Today I mailed a tiny letter.

Let me know when you get it.

I'm gonna off you!

Okay, so here in Atlanta there are a few spots with turn lanes that aren't completely marked, but mostly its obvious. I was sitting on Edgewood with my turn signal on, along with a few other cars and their turn signals to turn right. Then, from in back of the line, a car tries to sneak down the turn lane and effectively cheat by bypassing those of us sitting there properly waiting to turn right. If you don;t know me, let me tell you that I HATE TRAFFIC CHEATERS!!!!!!!
So, I slip over a bit to block the asshole cheater from stealing a turn. He must not have approved because he squeeeeeezed next to me and gave me a look, with attitude, that said "what?". I pointed to the lane and said "That's not a turn lane" through my closed window. He said something argumentative, I don't know what, so I said it again and turned in front of him. Ooooh, this must not have made his passenger happy. In fact, I promise you it didn't.
So, of course, I'm stuck at a red light right after making my proper right turn. Behind me in the car, I see it shaking, yes the car was shaking, and I can hear some words of discontent. I love to drive while on my cell phone, and I was talking to my boyfriend at the time, so of course I began to mimic the lady in the passenger seat. Then her door opens, and she steps out.
In that very ghetto dialect, "Muthafuckin bitch, step out yo car. Fight me face to face. WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!!" and I'm repeated ALL of this to the boyfriend and then she screams "I will Muthafuckin OFF YOU!!!!!!!" She repeats the threat a few times and I'm actually laughing and think its the funniest thing. But then she starts to charge the car, with her huge bazoongas shaking, and she's wearing a suit and its FUNNY.
She gets to the car and she starts screaming through the car window a lot of the things she screamed before and I'm just looking in shock and humor and repeating it all to Scott. I'm sure if I was "alone" and not on the phone with Scott i would have been scared. She was big and definitely could've taken me if I didn't have scissors in my bag next to me. I probably should have called the cops too, but I didn't know any info like make/model/tag number and they turned right after that. OH, BUT I'M NOT EVEN TO THE GOOD PART!
So, I'm getting yelled at and probably smirking as i repeat word for word her screaming. THEN, the best part. She pulled her brown pants down. She smashed her white pantyhose clad booty against my window. And she screamed "Kiss My muthafuckin ASS!" as she waved it and rubbed it on my car. Really, aren't you all jealous? This awesome stuff NEVER happens to me! Okay, it does but whatever. Anyhow, she got even madder after the booty part. Maybe it was because I was laughing, or maybe its because I wasn't afraid or yelling back, but she started trying to get in and cursing me for having locked doors (and thats a rarity so thank you luck!). She was real mad and punched my window a few times and then i noticed the driver dude was getting out and i got a teeny bit scared but figured it would be okay since he obviously wasn't the angriest one.
She eventually got back in the car, and I could tell she was still plenty pissed,but I resisted egging her on some more. I'm sure she had a real bad day and I only wish I had wished her a Merry Christmas.

Gnomes!

These are the gnomes we painted on Saturday. They'll be fancier once they're glazed and fired.

Somewhere over the ocean art show!

This weekend was a blast! I got a fancy dinner at Re'Past. I saw Santa. I painted a gnome. I went to a Progressive dinner. AND I had my stuff in an art show! YAY! I don;t know if my two pirate quilts sold, but I got a few compliments and I'm going to start working on the next one!

Here's a pic of me and Johnny from 13 Roses in front of my badass art. Sorry its fuzzy but its a cellphone pic (thank you Helen).

3 weeks

Pretty soon I'll be sewing again! Come on sewing foot! Tomorrow the tape comes off.

I'm sorry I have neglected you...

I made this baby quilt for Allison's baby shower. Isn't it cute? I used mostly skulls and cherries with pinks and reds to fill it in. and the back is courderoy pink with cherries. ADORABLE!

So, now I have one more baby quilt and one animal wall hanging to do by Christmas! YIKES!I've got to get busy!

You asked for it

Back to Crafts!

You will all be happy to know that I kept myself busy these past few days. In addition to all of my fantastic TV watching, i also made some little grippies for my crutches and I bedazzled my new fine footwear! I AM fashion.


Oh, and as a special bonus, here is a picture of my newly crushed pinkie toe. It was a rough day for crutches and feet in my house.

MY DOGS ARE SO BAD!

Anna ate those thermacare heat wraps. Yep. She shredded them on the couch, ate them up, and proceeded to puke them up all over my bed! Then Turkey ate that and I'm waiting for her to puke. ARGH!!!!

Like sands through the hourglass

So my "vacation" is nearing an end. In the past week + I have thoroughly enjoyed every bit of TV that i have watched. Perhaps the pain pills helped, but I think I would have enjoyed it just as much without them.
I'm all caught up on ANTM previous cycles. I'm hooked on A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila, I rewatched the entire season of rock of Love and Heather WAS the right one for Bret, he was just scared. MTV lied when they said "watch this Wednesday to see who gets kicked out of the house on the Real World Sydney". Let me tell you, I took time out of my busy schedule and I chose to maintain my relationship with the Real world instead of watching a fresh episode of one of the Law and Orders. and guess what? Those assholes lied! NO ONE got kicked off the Real world. Of course, we now know that Trisha -or whatever the blond whore's name is- pushed Prissa -or whatever the Indian or Pakistani or whatever nationality whore's name is- and Prissa gets to decide whether the blond whore is kicked off. I think she should have her booted because then the other brown haired sluts will be soooo mean to her and it will be worth watching.
Back on topic- last night I watched 6 episodes of some awesome show called Cold Case. That show and Without a Trace are my new Law and Orders although Law and Order is still awesome.
In addition to copious amounts of TV, I have also been sewing like mad! I have holes in my fingers from sewing them to things (thanks a lot percocet). I also managed to eat about 25 pounds of chocolate, cookies, cake, and candies. The Maribou Biscuit is one of the all time best chocolate bars EVER! So f-in good! Besides the TVm chocolate, and sewing, I've been enjoying a nap here and there and everywhere. I have managed to break the record today and as of this moment I have actually stayed awake for 5 hours and 48 minutes. That said, I'm going off to nap right now!

The Radish Incident of 2007

So, I went to get my surgery and they ask "have you eaten anything since midnight?" Of course, being a dummy, I answered truthfully, "yes, but it was TINY! It was a teeny tiny piece of radish. I was in the yard and noticed that the radishes were ready and I bit the tip off one and ate it."
That being said, the nurse went to talk it over with the doctors. "We're sorry, we have to cancel your surgery"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
I begged and pleaded and the nurse offered for me to talk with the anesthesiologist. I explained that it really was the tiniest piece of radish and it was completely unintentional. He told me about some lady who said she had "a bite" of chicken which was actually a thigh and drumstick so he had to be absolutely sure. Its not that they're afraid I'll poop myself. If I was lying it could make me choke to death on my own vomit and well, I didn't want that either.
So I assured all doctors I was telling the truth and as a compromise, they bumped me to last in line. That meant sitting in the back with an IV, hungry as an ethiopian baby in the 80's, wearing horrible hospital issue underwear and a gown, watching episode after episode of America's Next top Model from 12:30 to 6:00pm. Scott was a trooper and sat with me most of the time.
I'm glad I got it done. Now that I have told you the embarrassing radish story, I will go back to bed. Later today i will try to post some awesome pictures! But maybe not.

So I'm getting my bunion worked on tomorrow so I may be away for a bit. I know you'll miss me. But just because I'm laid up, doesn't mean you can't go shop! I wanted to do this craft show with my craft buddies but alas, it would be quite uncomfortable. And my sweet sweet boyfriend offered to do it for me, but I'm just not that cruel to make him set up shop and be surrounded by a bunch of cute single crafty ladies. So check this out on Saturday the 17th:

Indie Craft Experience This Saturday!
http://www.ice-atlanta.com/
Come on out this Saturday for the Indie Craft Experience! With 75+ vendors you can get all your holiday shopping done at this amazing event and save yourself a trip to the mall ... oh, and did we mention you'll have *fun* on top of it?! Need a break from all the great shopping? Stop and have a drink, listen to some music, dig through your swag bag and enjoy the festivities!
This event features local crafters from Atlanta & Athens as well as national crafters from Portland, Chicago & NYC! What's the Indie Craft Experience all about? Click here to find out! Scroll to the bottom to see a video about ICE created by PBA30's "This is Atlanta." Date: Saturday, November 17, 2007 Time: 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.Admission: $5*Location: The B Complex1272 Murphy AvenueAtlanta, Georgia 30310 http://www.thebcomplex.com/ *The Indie Craft Experience believes giving to the community is very important. The $5 admission fee goes to Hagar's House (a local shelter for women & children) and Handmade Nation (a self-funded documentary on the indie craft movement).

And if you need more crafty shopping, check out Paideia's arts fundraiser on Saturday AND Sunday. There's also the Big Angel Blowout at Whitespace gallery on Edgewood. That one goes on from Thursday evening til Sunday.

I feel so naked and craftless

So I dropped off ALL of my arts and crafts this weekend. I brought them to the Spruill Arts Gallery near Perimeter Mall on Ashford Dunwoody Road and they will sell all of my wares since I can't do any of the Christmas fairs this season (due to my impending foot surgery). They have a Holiday market starting next Monday through to Christmas Eve. You should go buy things there.

Holiday Artist Market
Nov 20 - Dec 24, 2007
Opening Reception:Mon, Nov 19, 6 - 8pm
Market Hours: 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Monday - SaturdayClosed Thanksgiving Day
Unusual, hand-crafted gifts for your holiday pleasure. Items priced for any pocketbook!
On December 1, in observance of WORLD AIDS DAY, "Lost," artworks by Terry S. Hardy will be on exhibit in the Back Gallery.

Obsessive? Compulsive.

So last night we were talking about our childhood and one of my friends mentioned that their significant other would listen to the top 40 and write down every song and chart them and record the ups and downs. This person still has notebooks filled with this stuff. I mean, every SINGLE Saturday, Casey Casem (sp?) and that crap he spewed and the little inspirational moments as well as the awesome awesome top 40 hits of the week. What did their friend's think of this? Did they have any friends? No, I'm not making fun, at all, for once.

I did not have many friends. We lived in condos and the youth population was usually scarce. There were tons of old people like Miss Bea and Mr. Bob. They all had poodles too. But I digress. Anyway, I used to collect coins. Any weird foreign coin, Susan B Anthony dollars, Bicentennial quarters...you name it. But mostly just pennies. Lots and lots of pennies. There was a system too. The 2 dollar bills from Grandma on my birthday went into an envelope. The foreign coins went into their own box. The quarters and Susan B.'s each had their own special jars. The pennies (except for wheat pennies) all went into the ceramic piggy my Mom gave me. I was like a little 8 year old coin librarian.

When I would get bored, or when the pig was filling up, I would pour all of the pennies out. I would sort them into piles by decade and then later sort the decade piles into individual year piles. If I knew I had way more than 2-3 hours to kill, I might even seperate them by mint ( thats the little D on the coin near the date). Now, you might already realize how bored and /or lonely I was. But its about to get worse.

After sorting into piles I would start in my Mom's bathroom and then work my way through her bedroom, into the hall, down the stairs, throught the living room, through the dining room, into the kitchen and finally into the downstairs bathroom. What was I doing? Well, of course I was laying my pennies out in a straight line through all of these rooms, in order, by date. But wait! The system continues!

If, and that's a strong IF the pennies reached from bathroom to bathroom, then I would count each date of pennies and if I had 50 of any given date (and mint of course) then I could roll them and label the outside of the roll and put them in my extremely heavy shoebox filled with rolled coins. At one point I had like 50 bucks in pennies that were rolled by date.

So, after telling you all this, you may now realize how I can make quilts all the time. Its all in the system, the level of insanity, the healthy dose of OCD (I contest the D), and a lot of money for fabric.

AWESOME!

Go to Google. Type in Sew sew def. You don't even need any dashes.

Chomp and Stomp

The Cabbagetown Chomp and Stomp was a delicious blast of success! I had some great chili, I sold my wares, got a delicious cheddar corndogski from Pallookaville, and generally wore myself out!

Thanks to everyone who made it out, got some chili, hung out some more, and even the people who bought stuff from me!

To those who didn't make it, mark your calendars! Next year- first Saturday in November. Be there or be square!

When Craft disaster strikes

It all happened 2 days ago. It was a beautiful day outside, the birds were chirping, fall leaves tumbled about in the street. It was time for my friend Ted to start thinking about making Christmas presents.

Ted gathered wood, and he gathered a jigsaw. He was in Lowe's and scooped up a quart sized can of stain to finish off his gifts. Then, as he was perusing the hardware aisle, disaster struck! The can flew out of his hand and though he dove and struggled to catch it, the can hit the ground with a clang heard for aisles over. Stain splashed everywhere- waist high on his pants, all over the display, all over the floor. Warm woody brown.

Being a good person, he alerted the staff so it could possibly be cleaned before permanent damage was done. Can you believe a Lowe's employee was mean to him about it too?

Anyway, after the horror of the spilled stain, he still went about his day, happily created the new and improved OVEN SQUIRREL!!!!! Behold! This magical creation helps pull hot pans out of the oven, and can also scrape icky ook off the rack! Next time you cook a freezer pizza you'll wish you had one of these!

Owie!

So last night I celebrated Halloween by procrastinating crafts and sewing for fun filled Chicken times. I wrapped myself in my chicken costume once again and ran around East Atlanta to see all of the kids in their costumes. I accidently scared a few and intentionally chased a couple. It was all in good fun. Oh, and I entered a costume contest at Haas Bar but was robbed by the buttefly catcher family. I would have entered at the Graveyard as well, but I thought I would give other people a chance to win. Hahah, I actually just knew I couldn;t handle defeat twice in one evening with the BEST COSTUME EVER!
So, after running around frolicking as a chicken, I got home and instantly fell UP the stairs. I don;t drink so its not like I was wasted or anything. I was simply running up the stairs and Turkey got under the chickens feet. Turkey is pictured above. Her full name is Turkey Chicken-Bone Murderface III. She's cute for an asshole. Anyway, my knee is killing me right now.
For the three of you reading this, come to Youngblood tonight and buy krafts!

This Saturday! nov. 3

http://chompandstomp.com/
all you can eat chili + crafts/art.



and don't forget: This Thursday, Kraftwork at Youngblood Gallery!

Kraftwerk this Thursday!!!!

Hey everyone who lives in Atlanta...I'll be at Kraftwork selling my wares this Thursday. Kraftwork is Youngblood Gallery's (http://www.youngbloodgallery.com) monthly craft night where its free for us crafters to set up and sell sell sell! The November and December shows are always a doozie so come out and start your Christmas shopping! There will be many great vendors and yours truly!

There will be wine and beer and snacks aplenty. Did I mention I would be there?

Halloween

Ah Halloween...its my favorite holiday! I love love love costumes and playing dress-up. This year i decided to be a chicken and it was sooo easy and comfortable! I'm sick of the slutty pirates, the sexy devils, the naughty whatevers...I go practical and funny.
You may ask yourself "How did she make that awesome costumes?" Well, I'll tell you.
You need certain supplies: feather boas, a white hoodie, a tutu, aluminum foil, masking tape and spray paint, and some tights (optional). I found my white hoodie at the thrift store for 3 bucks. I attached 2 large boas to it with safety pins. The first went down the arms and the second went around the hood and down the fronts. Next I attached 2 large boas and 2 skinny boas to the tutu. I would have just used large boas but Atlanta is out of white boas.
To make the mark I smashed some aluminum foil to my face, then i carefully removed it, cut out eyes and then coated it- front and back- with masking tape. This makes it sturdy. I tied some elastic to it, spray painted it white with an orange beak and then tapes a couple of stray feathers to it for good measure. While i was spray painting, I misted some tights with orange. They used to be a gross super-bright yellow and after my other tights blew out, I went with these. (Note: it is not advisable to spray paint tights while you are wearing them. I now have Linsey Lohan colored polka dots all over my lower half and I have to go to the gynecologist for my annual exam tomorrow - sorry TMI.) The costume took me a while to collect the pieces but really could have been assembled in a few easy hours in front of the TV.
To the left, I am showcasing 2 other awesome handmade costumes. The rainbow and the pot of gold (with their signature leprechaun) were awesome. So were the garden gnomes and their wizard. A++++ on all counts!

Happy Halloween!

My Favorite Old People in the World

I love this photo! This is Babcia and Dzaidek. Those aren't their names, but rather it means grandma and grandpa in Polish. They are Sarah's grandparent's and they are awesome. I recently met this adorable couple on a trip to NC to visit the NC State Fair, Claire, the lemurs, and the bees.

Babcia and Dzaidek are amazing and strong people. They told me (in strong Polish accents) about the German's taking them from Poland to work on the farms at age 16. After the war was over they were allowed to go anywhere. But they feared that going home to Poland would result in going home to Siberia because Poland was run by Russia at the time. They told of how incredibly hard it was when they got here, they knew no one and no one would help them with anything. Hearing her speak about the past and how hard it was to get by here with nothing- no spoon, no oven, no English. I'm so glad I met this amazingly sweet and strong little couple. They make me wish I had really known my own grandparents.

MY NEW FABRIC IS HERE!!!!!

Yay!!!!! Its all so beautiful!

Pants

So, my NC BFF Claire has the softest kitty in the world. I hate to be so gay and girlie but today, I talk about kitties. My kitty Tang is pretty soft (or he was until he decided to be goth and live in the basement, but that's a different story) but Claire's cat Pants is super duper soft! She loves Pants so much that she asked me to commemorate him in a tiny quilt. I started making tiny quilts because they're fun, somewhat portable, and cute as hell! So here is the before and after of the Pants Tiny Quilt.

And yes, Pants DOES have a tiny head. I didn't do it, she was born that way.

Tang footnote:

Tang recently got a new dog and he does not like the new dog. To protest, Tang lives in the basement and is a loner. Its like a teenager with a new stepdad. Thank GOD he isn't wearing black eyeliner. Yet.

Pallookaville Shout-out

So my friend has decided to open the best corndog cart in the world. It is called Pallookaville and you can visit at http://www.pallookaville.com/ for more info on the deliciousness that has been created. Anyway, I made him some potholders. It was a request made by the Rev. Uncle Laffo the Clown. See, being a giant clown with giant hands makes it hard to do a low-country boil. So he asked for some oversized potholders for his oversized hands. Unbeknownst to him, they would be masterpieces, with a portrait of him and crossed corndogs and a giant partially eaten corndog on the other. Genius. Perfection.

Sale to a Stranger

Yesterday was awesome! I cleaned up my emails, posted some new stuff to etsy, and then...yes! FINALLY!!!!! I made a sale on my etsy store to a stranger! YAY!!!! A nice lady in Berkely, CA bought my star quilt. So now I feel legit. Sure, I had sales a plenty at my craft fairs (next one, Nov. 3 Cabaagetown Chomp and Stomp) but it feels good to know that I can sell them online as well. This will definitely keep my fabric addiction flowing! Speaking of which, I am psychic because I just bought 100 bucks worth of fabric online right before I made that sale.

High Five!

Slow Days at Work

Sometimes I have an incredibly slow day at work. Today half the office was out due to a training course. Then there were some meetings and vacations and therefore, it was very quiet and very slow. Sooooo, I learned about the macro setting on the fancy work camera. It took a bit of time but I think I figured that out. I need to work on the lighting but I would like to blame the dim pics on the overcast day.

Here's a nice shot of the tissue covers I made for those little kleenex packs we carry in our purses. You can buy them on my etsy shop. Heh heh, what a disgustingly shameless plug.

Ahhhh, my new blog

I've done the blog thing a few times, but unfortunately I have lost them all. Its not that they're gone, its more that I have no idea what site they were on, my user names, passwords, etc. So, alas, I will begin anew. But this time I will focus more on my awesome craft: quilts and stuff i like. So as a beginning, here is a photo of my favorite potholder ever!